All this time we thought Seinfeld was a show about "nothing." Little did we know that peppered in its nine seasons were hidden, real-world marketing lessons taught by the masters themselves. But, unlike the Soup Nazi's secret soup recipes, these marketing lessons are to be shared freely with everyone.

So why did I write this eBook? Anyone who knows me well knows that I watch way too much Seinfeld. So much so that many times during a conversation with someone I'll remark, "Hey, that reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Kramer are..." Basically, it's a curse.

We'll that's all about to change with this eBook. I have decided to use my Seinfeld powers for the good of marketing-kind. Maybe this will help to quiet the voices in my head (doubtful, but one can hope). Even if you have never watched an episode of Seinfeld in your life (shame on you!), you can still participate. I'll give you the background of each episode so that you can play along at home....on with the show.

Marketing Lesson #1: Company Policies and Signs

Seinfeld Episode: Jerry bounces a check at a local bodega. He enters the store to talk to Marcelino, the storeowner, about removing his check from the "Do Not Accept Checks From" sign by the cash register: JERRY: Again, I'm really sorry about the check, Marcelino. (Jerry takes out his wallet). Look, let me just give you the forty, plus another twenty for your trouble. MARCELINO: ‘Kay. JERRY (turning to leave): Aren't you going to take the check down? MARCELINO: Sorry, no. It's store policy. JERRY: But it's your bodega. MARCELINO: Even I am not above the policy.

The Marketing Lesson: Let's face it: excessive policies are the "junk food" of business: They seem good at the time. They do more harm than good. They only mask the real problem. They are used out of laziness. Just as some people are addicted to Junior Mints, some companies are addicted to policies.

A company may first add a new policy because of an outlying situation (a handful of customers are bringing their pets into our store). The company then creates a sign to enforce the policy. The new policy and sign produce other outlying situations (what about working or service dogs?).

The company in turn introduces another policy (and sign) to clarify the old policy. Soon the company has conflicting policies that even the employees cannot keep straight. It can turn into a vicious cycle. In the end, the policies and the cycle control the company. Are you controlling your policies, or are they controlling you?

Marketing Lesson #2: Brands and Expectations

Seinfeld Episode: Jerry is picking up his reserved rental car at the rental agency: JERRY: I made a reservation for a mid-size. AGENT: Okay, let's see here. (The agent  checks on her computer)... I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment. JERRY: I don't understand. I made a reservation. Do you have my reservation? AGENT: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars. JERRY: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. AGENT: I know why we have reservations. JERRY: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation, and that's really the most important part of the reservation-the holding. Anybody can just take them.

The Marketing Lesson: When you think about it, a reservation is nothing more than an expectation. And quite simply, this is also the definition of a brand. A brand is a perceived expectation in an exchange of value. In other words, if I give you something that I value (my time or my money), then I expect something of value in return from you. The stronger the brand is, the greater the expectation I have. But this expectation of mine goes much deeper than just your products or services. It is an expectation of anything and everything relating to your business.

For example, my expectation of Apple is "uncluttered and stylish innovation." Yes, I expect sleek, intuitive new products that are designed with my present and future needs in mind. But I also expect innovative solutions from its employees, understated packaging, a simple setup, an uncluttered Apple Store and maybe most importantly, I expect some of this unclutteredness and style to "rub off" onto me to help me unclutter my life and bring a sense of style to who I am.

You see, a brand is not just what I expect from your company; it is also what I expect of myself by choosing your company. If I have an iPod, I expect to be (and probably see myself as) a stylish person. If I buy a safe Volvo car, I expect to be a safe person. If I buy high-class jewelry from Tiffany & Co., I expect to be a high-class person. In other words, I expect to be what I expect of the brand.

That is why, in essence, a commodity will never be a brand. There is no expectation of a commodity- other than maybe convenience or price. But these are hardly the building blocks of a strong brand. The thing is, with a commodity, just as soon as something else comes along that is more convenient or better priced, your commodity will be replaced. And it's sad, really, when this switch happens, because it is not even a conscious decision. Conversely, if I were to switch from Coke to Pepsi (because of repeated unmet expectations), then I would make a mental-note not to purchase a Coke product ever again. However, if my local grocery store switches the kin  of celery it sells, I may not even notice (unless I happen to buy a particular brand).
What do your customers expect from your brand?

Bill Gammel works in Orem, Utah in the marketing department of a market research company. Article chosen from www.changethis.com

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