The Heart of Leadership

Where does the true power of your leadership lie?

What is the core driver for getting the best results in the organisation?

I was talking to a leader recently and he told me with conviction that he has a clear vision for his company and that he was driving the organization forward towards that goal. How good must it feel for him to have such a clear, purposeful vision.

Another managing director told of his frustration at having to be always pushing his people to get the results he needed. How difficult it must feel for him - and, it would seem, how physically tiring.

In terms of leadership - and likely outcomes – there are critical flaws with both these examples. In the first, the outcomes most likely would include poor performance and the second, staff retention.

Clearly, the two people expressing these ideas have not yet found the true power of leadership. The first one - who in fact had a clear vision to lift the organisation far beyond its current level of performance to being a world leader - left one significant component out of the picture: the human element, the 'heart'. He did not include in his vision the involvement of his people and the emotions which would arise in the process.

The clues are very clearly in the words they used: he had a clear vision. ..he was driving … the organisation .. towards the goal.

None of the words he used included or reflected people and/or their emotions. And the second one: his frustration… always pushing … his people… results he needed.

The second example certainly involved people but the words he expressed were actually an assault on the emotions of those people. Who wants to be poked and pushed to do their work?

The heart of leadership is the awareness and positive engagement of the emotions of the people involved. One of the problems that arises once we engage the negative emotions in people is that we have no real way of measuring the impact on that person. But we wonder why that person isn’t as committed, isn’t as focused, perhaps it’s a subtle change in their attitude that we notice - or maybe they take stress leave.

One simple but very effective way of engaging is for leaders to be aware of the language - the words - they choose. I suggest to leaders of organisations – from the CEO and to all other levels – that they develop an awareness of the words they when communicating,

We’ve all heard the expression “it’s not what you say but the way you say it” and yet the power of the words has as much impact as the tone in which they’re expressed. And of course, these days with the written word of the emails, many a disconnect has occurred because of inappropriate use of words and the lack of the ‘the way you say it'.

By taking my advice and having an awareness of the words leaders use there are positive and significant changes in the way others respond to them – and this flows on to others and ultimately has a positive effect on the culture of the organisation.

Much of the problem lies in the fact that bosses and therefore organisations have been using the ‘old style’ of language for so long, it’s hard to change. Many ‘bosses’ heard this language when they were moving up through the organisation and as they had to take the verbal assaults, they can’t see why the people working for them now should be treated differently.

There are many diagnostic tools which can help people understand their own personality of behavioural style and enable them to recognise the ‘type’ or style which others (or their bosses or employees) may exhibit so that they can adapt to fit in with that style. This is, of course, the basis of interpersonal skills and diagnostic tools can be very useful as they give a perspective  which is often a revelation for some people.

However, people who understand the heart of leadership have little need for these diagnostics in order to inspire, motivate and effectively lead.

These people understand that every individual, regardless of personality type or behavioural style, is driven by their emotions. People who make a connection with ‘heart’ in their leadership style are far more effective leaders and will have willing and committed ‘followers’. Their people take ownership of the leader’s vision, embrace and welcome forward moving change and are enthusiastically committed to the best possible outcomes for the organisation.

So what are some of the attributes at the heart of leadership success?

Leaders who understand the heart of leadership:

1. Recognize and validate the emotions of others.

2. Understand their own emotional drivers are adept at emotional self-management.

3. Have the skill of empowering others.

One manager was heard to say recently : "I don’t care how you feel, just get on with the job" and a few days to later to complain about staff retention in the organisation.

Validating the emotion doesn’t mean that the emotion is right: it means that you accept and acknowledge that the person is feeling that way because in the emotional context of that person, right now, the emotion is real.

Unless there is an effective and regular 360^o degree review process, the leaders of the team or the leaders of the organisation will often be unaware of the impact of their behaviour and are destined to repeat it – and continue to struggle with the consequences.

An example of this is an organisation where the managing director talks about open communication and yet, unwittingly, he or she disempowers people who seek to engage in the openness the ‘leader’ claims to embrace. The next level of managers are then confused by the mixed message they are getting from the top.

The most effective leaders today make a real connection with the heart and emotions of those they are leading. To achieve this they need to get in touch with their own heart and that’s often the real challenge. We have been conditioned to believe that boys and therefore leaders don’t cry and shouldn’t show emotions. But this is a myth – boys, men, and leaders (of both gender) DO feel emotions.

Effectively expressing those emotions and then managing their own emotions and the emotions of others in a way that values and honours the other person is often a challenge – but one which is well worth the effort.